Consumer cases against SUNNY LEONE withdrawn:Faking News:

A significant amount of consumer cases against Sunny Leone have been withdrawn after her latest release Ragini MMS 2. These cases were filed after her last release Jackpot citing unsatisfactory product and false advertising.

All the frustrated jobless students who went to saw her Jackpot said film had tricked them by false advertising. “The film has deeply offended us students and further dampened our belief in the already dishonest and fragile system,” said an engineering student surfing torrent for some real action.

However, Sunny has managed to calm her audiences this time by going an extra mile in her new venture.Sunny had proposed an item song in the court.

She had purposely added a moaning scene as bonus to all the subjects in court.”Toothpaste mein namak real ho na ho , film mein sunny real zaroor hai “, said a horny student in a line for second show. ” Yeh grahak ki jeet hai “, said a student activist who had filed a PIL regarding this issue. Sunny has,however, also offered free membership of her site to all those who aren’t still ready to withdraw the case.

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THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO SCREAM FROM A ROOFTOP TO THESE PEOPLE: I BET WE ALL DO

• Dear Google, i am not a robot. I wish i was, but  can you stop hurting my feelings!

• Dear Professor,  I would like an advance announcement next time if you are’nt  going to mark attendance.

• Dear “Just Friends “ of My GF , why don’t you get yourself a girl or a life !

• Dear facebook, you are supposed to issue a warning before blocking my friend requests

• Dear  wannabe modern girls , there are Hollywood movies other than twilight and stop quoting their love story. Real life Bella is a cheat!

• Dear Modi and BJP , not everyone against you is a “PAK agent "

• Dear facebook, you are supposed to issue a warning before blocking my friend requests.

• Dear facebook friends , Unless i am actually in a pic , I have no interest in being tagged in ur pics. And yes , I hate teddies and kitties :P

• Dear Rahul Gandhi , I understand Bringing youth in politics is important , but you cannot have that answer for every question.
• Dear Airtel , I know my balance is below 10 rupees, you dont have to shove that in to my face every time!

• Dear Arnab Goswami , Having a last word yourself and muting other people is not debating !

• Dear India news , why don’t u shift your studio to a chaupal !

• Dear public , enough with Manmohan jokes , they are’nt funny anymore!

• Dear Uday Chopra ,not all persistence is good !!

• Dear Honey Singh , we got it you are a party person, what else u got?

• Dear Girls ,you don’t have to type “hmmm “ in a chat.  I ain’t holding a gun to your head.

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News you missed while watching T20 : Best of Faking News

1. Marred by his ED( Election Debut) and premature expulsion, Pramod Muthalik promises that he’s a changed man. I wonder if all the pink lingerie he received as a protest changed his outlook towards women. Mine would !!! With his current resentment towards Arnab Goswami ,TIMES NOW is considered sending their underwear.

2. With Idiots like KRK and Rakhi Sawant having entered politics, it is no longer inappropriate to say that our political scene is flooded by a bunch of idiots. After porn , pepper spray and money flying in parliament, item girl is the only thing missing .

3 .With Subrata Roy and Kejriwal coming to their rescue, Indian ink industry has got a major boost and are now trying to get modi and Rahul as their Brand Ambassadors. Rakhi Sawant has, although offered to do it for free. She has offered lucrative advertising space (If you know what I mean)

4.  After failing to generate any buzz after announcing private quotas, Congress govt. is now planning to announce reservation in multiplexes. Now 20 % of the corner seats will be reserved for backward classes. And reserved classes will be provided 20% extra data on their 3G packs.

5. After dismissing the reports of one man worship, BJP has now decided to name their manifesto as “Modifesto”. Meanwhile, Poonam Pandey has been given ticket over Smriti Irani since she promised to bring all her Twitter followers to vote . Poonam has acknowledged this by tweeting a photo wearing just a lotus !

6.  After his chai pe charcha , Modi is now trying to reach the slum people by his new campaign “track pe track record “.The event funding will be provided by Hajmola , Tupperware and Western Railway before Arvind Kejriwal questions the funding . In response ,Rahul Gandhi has launched a series of new gatherings called “Shauch pe Soch”.

7. After Kejriwal and Antony, Modi has now called Jaswant Singh and Nitish Kumar a “Pak Agent ” and quoted Rajasthan’s role in 1962 war.

8. The words “Shehzada” , “Feku ” and “Paltu” have been included in the oxford dictionary of political jargon only next to democrats and republicans.

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10 movie quotes that define cool.

   1.“The world is your oyster. It's up to you to find the pearls.” 
― Chris Gardner , The pursuit of Happyness

  2.With one leg in the past, and one in the future ,no wonder we are pissing on the present 

  - DJ, Rang De Basanti.

3.You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

   -Tyler Durden , Fight club

4.“Mr. Franz, I think careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one.” 

― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

5. “That's what was great about him. He tried. Not many do.” 

― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

6. Every man dies,but not every man really lives

- William wallace, Braveheart

7.”Nobody is gonna hit as hard as life, but it ain’t how hard you can hit.
It’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. It’s how much you can
take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning’s done.”
-Syllvester Stallone ( Rocky)

8. Women can fake orgasm,why the hell they can't fake silence?

  - Arshad warsi, Chocolate

9.I guess it comes down to a simple choice really. Get busy living, or get busy dying

  -Andy Dufresne ,The Shawshank Redemption

10. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we      don't need

   -Tyler Durden , Fight club

Seven Bollywood Movies that would have probably worked if released today.

With the changing dynamics and audience of Indian film industry,here are some of the movies that would have got much more recognition if released today.

1.U,Me aur Hum

This movie produced by Eros international and Ajay Devgan productions was directorial debut of Ajay Devgan.Starring Ajay Devgan and his wife Kajol,the film portrayed the relationship of a psychatrist and an alzheimer's struck wife.Movie was high on emotional quotient and Kajol gave a killer performance.Let down by a sloppy slow screenplay,the movie was a winner in all other respects.The film was indian version of the romantic flicks like "The Vow" and "50 first dates".Only difference is that those films worked and such films are still potential blockbusters in hollywood.Second half of the movie is especially brilliant with strong portrayal of frustrations of their married life.And for all those chick flick enthusiasts,the climax is surely gonna get an "awwww" out of you.

movies ,flop,bollywood,love,indian movies,underrated movies,aks,gulaal,socha na tha

2.Haasil

This movie directed by ace director Tigmanshu dulia and starring Jimmy Shergill,Hrishita bhatt and charming Irrfaan was based on a mesh of small town love story,student politics and deception.Featuring a hit track "Aankhein bhi",the movie has attained a cult status among students.The movie is set in a small town college environment and boasts of impressive supporting cast,most prominently Ashutosh rana.

3.Aks

Directorial debut of "RANG DE BASANTI" fame director Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra,the movie starred Amitabh bachchan,Manoj Bajpai,Raveena Tandon and Nandita Das.Manoj Bajpai played a hardcore psychopath who haunts the cop (Bachchan) after he is shot dead.Noted for sharp direction and sensuality of Raveena tandon,film sure was ahead of its time.The film was a dark themed thriller which was percieved as weird by some critics and certain section of audiences.Apart from being different,the film featured amazing performances by the qualified starcast.The film even briefly touches the subject of marital rape.Raveena Tandon was seen in what can be called the most sensual role of her career.

4.Being Cyrus

Directorial debut of "COCKTAIL" director Homi Adajania,the movie featured wonderful performances by Saif Ali Khan,Naseeruddin shah,Dimple Kapadia and Boman Irani.The film was a thriller woven around a dysfunctional parsi family.Watch the movie for amazing performances of Naseeruddin as an eccentric sculptor who takes on the protagonist of the movie as his apperentice.The movie being in english language may not have worked in its favour.

5.Aankhein

This Vipul Shah movie was a heist movie starring Akshay Kumar,Amitabh Bachchan,Paresh Rawal and Arjun Rampal in pivotal roles.Just when we thought great things have started happening in bollywood,the film underperformed and sure deserved much wider acceptance and recognition.The film featured Amitabh Bachchan as an overobsessed Bank Manager who plans to rob a bank after he is expelled from the same bank.Only difference is that he hires three blind men to commit an impossible robbery.Amitabh Bachchan shines in his negative characher as an over-obsessed expelled bank manager.

6. Socha Na Tha

Today’s average movie-buff would go nuts on a movie featuring both Abhay Deol and Imtiyaz ali. Well, they’re kind of torch-bearers of Indian “new age “cinema right now. Socha Na Tha, which was debut of both Abhay Deol and Imtiyaz Ali went unnoticed due to lack of star-power or any other reason. The movie featured Abhay Deol and ever-cute Ayesha Takia as a young pair oozing freshness and chemistry. Of course, the film had confused Imtiyaz Ali touch to it. It garnered positive reviews but failed to make a mark on the box office. Ayeshia takia fans are recommended to see that movie as she symbolised innocence in her part and Abhay deol fans should watch this movie to explore his playboy conventional hero image. If you loved Jab We Met, you are bound to love this movie for the endearing lead couple and that Imtiyaz Ali touch we all love.

7. Gulaal

The list of under-rated movies would be incomplete without including any of the Anurag Kashyap’s movies. Gulaal, which boasted of wonderful cast and powerful script explored themes like quest for power, manipulation, illegetimcacy, secessionism , etc, etc. The movie starred debutante Raj Singh Choudhary and wonderful cast including Kay Kay Menon (Powerful portrayal of a democracy era nominal king), Piyush Mishra, Abhimanyu singh (In a very endearing bad boy role). Gulaal is set in a fictitious secessionist movement and a college politics setting and plot is provided by the way it affects and changes a timid rajput student . The film had other minor tracks in the story too to support the themes explored and said above. If u love cinema , then Gulaal should certainly make you proud of Indian Cinema. The film features some powerful scenes enacted by Kay Kay Menon although whole of the cast is sheer blessing for a cinema love

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How to set-up your BSNL broadband wi-fi using Landline.

This tutorial is going to teach you to set up your BSNL wi-fi broadband on your own.This is pretty simple and going to save you the installation charges and give you the satisfaction of fruit of labour.So here is how you go through with it.
 1. Firstly, you need to have a BSNL landline connection to avail the broadband facility.In case you already dont have it, get it.
 2. After you get the landline connection,you need to apply for the broadband connection with yout ISP ( Internet Service Provider). After your connection is through  you will get a username and a password.
3.Now you need to get a wi-fi modem which either you can purchase from market or can be provided by your ISP.Now most widely used Wi-fi modem is Dlink.In this tutorial we are gonna take the example of D-link DSL 230u.
4. Your modem comes with following entities in a package.

• A Modem cum router device which has four ethernet ports(Blue outline in the figure below) and a single DSL port(white outline).
• A splitter which has two ports on one side and a single port on the opposite site.
• A DSL phone cable
• An ethernet cable.

Fig 1: Modem cum router.

Fig 2: Splitter

Now DSL cable and ethernet cable look similiar to each other but remember ethernet cable has wider ends.

5. Now make physical connections as illustrated in the diagram below

Fig 3 : Making connections

6. After you have already made the connections.You need to configure the Modem for the first time.For that ,you can either use the CD that may or may not be included in the package or you can do it manually.For that you need to connect the router to your laptop PC so that effective network looks exactly like in the Fig 4 below.

Fig 4: Connections to configure the modem for the first time.

Needless to say,the modem needs to be plugged in for the power.Configuration is pretty easy and self explanatory.You need to type a given IP adress in your browser and go to the modem interface.You can enter the default values there in the set-up wizard and you are ready to go.

Of the reserved and the deserved!

With all this reservation frenzy around me ,a thought struck me if reservation is more of a luxury rather than a support. Its like we got numbers and free time to strike, let’s  be OBC, it’s in nowadays.  Lets don’t change for 60 years and then riot for being officially labelled as a handicapped community.. Being backwards out of choice and lack of will is the prerequisite for being reserved. Inform me if i am missing anything, but i don’t understand how being a poor Brahmin means more opportunities than a poor dalit. Building a nations workforce out of appeasing communities can have dangerous consequences .No wonder ,private sector is bringing all the investment in. Just pray that mayawati doesn’t  stage anshan  for reservation in Microsoft or oracle. DMK manifesto is promising reservation in private sector.It is more sensible to have a sectional lottery instead. Might fetch us some actually deserving candidates. Even after 60 years of continous reservation, the parties are taking pride in providing and expanding reservations while the other way round would be progress. But then again, a cheerleader team has a collective IQ and common sense more than our esteemed leaders.What could be more pathetic than this situation. Where the leaders are dalit ki beti rather than desh ki beti. Obviously when it comes to votes, common sense goes to dogs. A poor upper caste is more able than poor lower caste. This assumption automatically assigns more divinity to upper class voiding the whole idea of equality. Analogically, a Brahmin farmer from vidarbha who might have committed suicide doesn’t need aid as opposed to a SC IAS officers son. Gosh,the caste factor must have been tough on him.  Common sense would say protect the poor. But hey when has common sense ever prevailed in India. That’s even rare than an Olympic medal. Our leaders fail to understand that the current caste based model could be defective or misused if it hasn’t been able to ensure equality even after 60 years .But why would they introspect if further exploiting fetches them votes. They say “Give a man a fish, you would feed him for a day, teach him to fish , you feed him for life. What works in our country is teach a man to fish, give a free fishing rod ,reserve a sea patch for him, fetch him extra prices on his produce, get him a subsidised boat, get him subsidized petrol and do the same for his son again and again. Apparently, they are genetically handicapped. I beg to differ strongly, but that’s what a sane man could infer from the current situation. A common argument by reservation enthusiasts is that everyone has a right and the division should be proportionate to various classes. Correct me if i’am wrong, but didn’t exams use to work on merit and merit commanded eligibility. If the facilities are to proportionate, why care for merit, a lottery would work just fine. These people seem to have forgotten three words-merit, test, eligibility. Overzealous insecure enthusiasts might label me a casteist, but i am the least casteist  guy if you care to sit down and think with your head for a change .But then again, blackening faces and vandalism is more tempting than actually using our head. I would like to conclude by saying that what was once aimed to create equality is the one actually polarizing. Just think !!

Most interesting twitter accounts to follow

Twitter is the new hip nowadays. Although twitter always comes second to our average indian's "phacebook" and theres not really anything to do on twitter for us. So iam going to suggest you some really interesting twitter accounts that can help you really get something out of twitter other than that quest to be sophisticated.
1. Uberfacts  : This account is a collection of uber cool facts that are really interesting. Its like ripleys believe or not,only cooler and more interesting. Follow this account for daily dose of "Ohhhh,really??? I mean did u know that bees can actually identify individual faces.Keep that in mind if you manage to piss off one!
2.History in pictures : This account is a must for all history buffs. Timeline bears a collection of daily updated and historically relevant photographs. Even contains some rare photographs.
3. Parody Barney Stinson : This is the parody account of the "awesome" barney, a character on "How i met your mother". Barney fans really need to follow this for some "awesome" tweets.
4. Sheldon Jokes : Well this account is as boring as sheldon,bazinga!!! Its awesome.
5. The Batman : The knight in dark and saviour of gotham is on twitter. Read his views on oscars to supervillains and everything else.
6. Lord Voldermort : Well,the good old voldy we know was never funny,but this twitter is a whole new story altogether. Follow this account for incredibly sarcastic voldy tweets.
7. WW2 tweets from 1942 : This is incredibly great account and one of my personal favourites. A guy gets an idea to tweet all the events of world war 2 in real time (not real real time !!!)over the 6 year period much like in 1942. Well,spiderman isnt the only thing being rebooted!
8. Word of the Day : This is a very simple idea but nevertheless a good idea.Learn one word a day.
9. Pick up lines : This account is once again a parody of howard walowitz from The Bing Bang theory. Treat yourself to an awesome collection of cheesy pickup lines. These lines are so lame that they are good.Have a heart laugh reading those lines but be cautious trying them. You might loose a tooth or two.