Of The Modi’fied

People in India have tendency to get way too overwhelmed, be it channelling abuses on yuvraj after losing a match or being impressed by the “attitude” of some obnoxious character on Madhubala serial thingy. The point i am driving home is Indians need to idolise or reprimand some oneto justify the conditions they live in. Be it the obsession with shahrukh-salman rivalry ( as if sensex would fall if they didn’t greet each other ) or the rants against Yuvraj ( Bottomline : Sri Lankans had come to play too!). The last nail to drive in the coffin is this Modi wave which has “modi’fied “ the common perception as if Akshay kumar has come to save the chineese ( which was Equally pathetic scenario btw!!). I mean,the guy packs a punch for now,i did vote him for tactical reasons but i don’t believe the “chosen one “ is here with a lotus in his hand. Its fashionable to state the Gujarat model though the guy might not know capital of Gujrat.The guy who couldn’t tell Nitish Kumar from Ram Vilas Paswan is suddenly an expert on how seasoned modi is and how novice kejriwal is ,just because its on Facebook. Apparently, a lot happens on facebook nowadays as it offers flexible option for prayers ,respect,ridicule (One like = One prayer? Seriously ! get off your butt and do the real thing). People are anticipating modi as if all their problems will vanish magically once Modi occupies the office. My barber,for one,believes his municipality officer will somehow become less arrogant when modi comes  to power( I wonder if that would apply on Anu malik !). Apparently ,acchhe din aane wale hain. I overheard an engineering student asking If Modi would provide subsidised Daaru for engineers or increase female quota in NIT’s. The statement was followed by a rant worded as “Ghanta Achhe din aane wale hain”. The advertisements are getting on my nerves,what are they gonna do next time? Sponsor cricket series? Or get featured in Krishh 4 ( Krishh is more of a catalogue,less of a movie).Not to mention,there are music videos now stating the achievements of BJP/Modi,its highly likely Madhur Bhandarkar might direct a movie on the Subect !

So,the point to be made is VOTE,NOT GLOAT,leave that to leaders !

The sections of Indian Junta who need to get a life!

Overindulgence is a way of life in India.We tend to overindulge in  all sorts of things be it movies ,cricket and celebrities.Not all overindulgence is bad, but some sections of people do need to get a real life for a change. Obsession with another human at that level is a signal of sorry life.From what i see ,most of India needs to get a life ,but some need it ASAP. Common cases of over-indulgence include :

1. First set of buffoons who need to get a life are people who call themselves SRK fans and Salman fans and are actually fighting on social networks.Can you believe that? I didnt know such people existed !But mother earth always ends up surprising me somehow. Apparently, they have made groups on facebook and abuse each other. Get a life people! Go make your own life large. We understand you are a fan, but dude this is pure loser shit !

2. People who go to Nirmal Baba's Samagams. I never understood the term "Leaving your brains home" ,but these people made me get that vibe. Seriously, the guy claims kripa is proportional to the value of prasad you donate to your lord.

3.People whose sentiments get hurt every now and then. Somebody makes a film, their sentiments get hurt. Why does religion need you buffoons as saviours?. Let the lord punish them. A girl gets raped in your vicinity ,your sentiments dont get hurt. Someone choses to create something on a religion which is equally his, your sentiments get hurt. Somebody abuses your leader, you resort to stone pelting, but the kind of language you use, your own mother and sister is abused casually among your friend group ,doesnt affect u ! Get a real life ladies
 4. Blackmailers on facebook who resort to blackmail for garnering likes.A deformed baby doesnt get cured by likes.Get off your butt and do the real thing.Somebody tell these people if likes equaled prayers, poonam pandey would be an actual celebrity :P.

  5.Those aunties who need to know about everyone's life ,the ones whose nephew or niece always ends up doing something better than me :P . These aunties tend to look down upon you, i mean i do that perfectly :P .why do i need them. So get a life or watch a serial aunties !

6.Those so called political analysts ( which is practically everybody ) who think Indian politics is all about shaming Rahul, Judging kejriwal and praising Modi. You might be right, but i dont need to hear it twice a day :P.Go vote for your guy, but don't sing about him on your timeline. PR companies do that perfectly !

10 questions that set my "HULK" mode on!!!

Intrusive questions seem to bug everbody. Me being a piscean ,i am extra irritable than a average person . Some questions just piss the hell out of me.Small talk often means tons of irrelevant and meaningless questions.These include:
 1.Aur fir Bhabi kaisi hai? (Duh! if i had one , i wont be here wasting my time with you!)

2. Bhai,Job shob mili koi? (Nailed a job??Well if i had, it would be all over my facebook,twitter,whatsapp and so on)

3.What kind of girl do you like? ( Listen girl ! if you are interested ,i am all for it, just dont ask me to make up words i don't believe?)

4.What are your hobbies ?( well saying "glued to laptop all day" certainly won't make any impression!)

5.Whats your aim in life? ( One step at a time,one step! let me finish the sandwich first! )

6.How much do you love me? "( Ask that again, it might just reduce substantially!)

7.Didn't you used to be a topper in school?what happened now? (Things change, wasn't i a loser too!)

8.How come you've gained so much weight ?( Its not helium! so what could it be?Genius!)

9.Can we be just good friends? ( Hahaha!! Good one )

10.Are'nt you asleep yet? ( yes i am, i type messages in my sleep )

One of a kind date : Smelly kind

"I am a compulsive hugger, you see..", she said. "Well in that case ,so do i ",i replied with a well practiced flirtatious smile. She gave that confirmation smile that seemed to acknowledge my flirty comment with grace.

"For a compulsive hugger, you are not that compulsive",i launched my master-stroke. It might seem audacious on the first date, but then again she had passed on her number to me in a train in presence of her mother. She  turned to hug me and curled her arms around my back. Soon, i realised that really was audacious on my part. That stench of sweat and whatever else ...my master stroke had fallen flat on face. Being a gentleman that i am , i said ,"Well that was pleasing to all my 7 senses". She acknowledged the comment with another short hug...thankfully!! "You know i am a sort of a minimalist ",she said. I wondered if minimalists believed in shower. If nothing, her clothes did confirm her minimalist affinities. “Why do we need fancy marble and mirrors when we can manage with a shower and a bucket and four walls”."Oh, she does know about showers, i said to myself and wondered if she used one frequently. I led her to dinner and sat across the table to avoid combat with that stench. I already had too much to deal with ..a smelly chick, a failed date ,a wasted saturday night, etc. "You know, i am just back from a three day tour i took to Ooty, it does wonders for your mind and body" she said. "Clearly!", i added with a covert sarcastic tone. We finished the dinner and tagged along the railings of the mall having routine conversations of how we enjoyed each other’s company. "Let me show you something", i said, dragging her to a perfume store .I grabbed a bottle from my shelf and presented her saying, " i was involved in the making of this fragrance,i would love if you wore it next time we meet ,your feedback would mean a lot to me ".She sounded impressed and said that she did not know a marketing manager of a fragrance company can actually be involved in the formulation of fragrance."Its appealing to the ladies,you see", i replied with a a flirty but careful smile. I drove her back to her place and was thankful to my car fragrance for the first time which i would reject as useless otherwise. I carefully avoided the goodbye hug and escaped with just a wave." See you later",she said .I pointed to the bottle gift bag and uttered, " hope your fragrance precedes you !" and drove on with a sigh.Later that night , i got a message from her number saying "you wanna go to that new water park next week?".I smiled to myself and thanked my stars !

Find out about a hot refreshing shower here

Consumer cases against SUNNY LEONE withdrawn:Faking News:

A significant amount of consumer cases against Sunny Leone have been withdrawn after her latest release Ragini MMS 2. These cases were filed after her last release Jackpot citing unsatisfactory product and false advertising.

All the frustrated jobless students who went to saw her Jackpot said film had tricked them by false advertising. “The film has deeply offended us students and further dampened our belief in the already dishonest and fragile system,” said an engineering student surfing torrent for some real action.

However, Sunny has managed to calm her audiences this time by going an extra mile in her new venture.Sunny had proposed an item song in the court.

She had purposely added a moaning scene as bonus to all the subjects in court.”Toothpaste mein namak real ho na ho , film mein sunny real zaroor hai “, said a horny student in a line for second show. ” Yeh grahak ki jeet hai “, said a student activist who had filed a PIL regarding this issue. Sunny has,however, also offered free membership of her site to all those who aren’t still ready to withdraw the case.

Read this post on My Faking News

Read all my faking news reports here

THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO SCREAM FROM A ROOFTOP TO THESE PEOPLE: I BET WE ALL DO

• Dear Google, i am not a robot. I wish i was, but  can you stop hurting my feelings!

• Dear Professor,  I would like an advance announcement next time if you are’nt  going to mark attendance.

• Dear “Just Friends “ of My GF , why don’t you get yourself a girl or a life !

• Dear facebook, you are supposed to issue a warning before blocking my friend requests

• Dear  wannabe modern girls , there are Hollywood movies other than twilight and stop quoting their love story. Real life Bella is a cheat!

• Dear Modi and BJP , not everyone against you is a “PAK agent "

• Dear facebook, you are supposed to issue a warning before blocking my friend requests.

• Dear facebook friends , Unless i am actually in a pic , I have no interest in being tagged in ur pics. And yes , I hate teddies and kitties :P

• Dear Rahul Gandhi , I understand Bringing youth in politics is important , but you cannot have that answer for every question.
• Dear Airtel , I know my balance is below 10 rupees, you dont have to shove that in to my face every time!

• Dear Arnab Goswami , Having a last word yourself and muting other people is not debating !

• Dear India news , why don’t u shift your studio to a chaupal !

• Dear public , enough with Manmohan jokes , they are’nt funny anymore!

• Dear Uday Chopra ,not all persistence is good !!

• Dear Honey Singh , we got it you are a party person, what else u got?

• Dear Girls ,you don’t have to type “hmmm “ in a chat.  I ain’t holding a gun to your head.

For more youth and college humour Click

News you missed while watching T20 : Best of Faking News

1. Marred by his ED( Election Debut) and premature expulsion, Pramod Muthalik promises that he’s a changed man. I wonder if all the pink lingerie he received as a protest changed his outlook towards women. Mine would !!! With his current resentment towards Arnab Goswami ,TIMES NOW is considered sending their underwear.

2. With Idiots like KRK and Rakhi Sawant having entered politics, it is no longer inappropriate to say that our political scene is flooded by a bunch of idiots. After porn , pepper spray and money flying in parliament, item girl is the only thing missing .

3 .With Subrata Roy and Kejriwal coming to their rescue, Indian ink industry has got a major boost and are now trying to get modi and Rahul as their Brand Ambassadors. Rakhi Sawant has, although offered to do it for free. She has offered lucrative advertising space (If you know what I mean)

4.  After failing to generate any buzz after announcing private quotas, Congress govt. is now planning to announce reservation in multiplexes. Now 20 % of the corner seats will be reserved for backward classes. And reserved classes will be provided 20% extra data on their 3G packs.

5. After dismissing the reports of one man worship, BJP has now decided to name their manifesto as “Modifesto”. Meanwhile, Poonam Pandey has been given ticket over Smriti Irani since she promised to bring all her Twitter followers to vote . Poonam has acknowledged this by tweeting a photo wearing just a lotus !

6.  After his chai pe charcha , Modi is now trying to reach the slum people by his new campaign “track pe track record “.The event funding will be provided by Hajmola , Tupperware and Western Railway before Arvind Kejriwal questions the funding . In response ,Rahul Gandhi has launched a series of new gatherings called “Shauch pe Soch”.

7. After Kejriwal and Antony, Modi has now called Jaswant Singh and Nitish Kumar a “Pak Agent ” and quoted Rajasthan’s role in 1962 war.

8. The words “Shehzada” , “Feku ” and “Paltu” have been included in the oxford dictionary of political jargon only next to democrats and republicans.

Read this post on my faking news.

10 movie quotes that define cool.

   1.“The world is your oyster. It's up to you to find the pearls.” 
― Chris Gardner , The pursuit of Happyness

  2.With one leg in the past, and one in the future ,no wonder we are pissing on the present 

  - DJ, Rang De Basanti.

3.You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

   -Tyler Durden , Fight club

4.“Mr. Franz, I think careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one.” 

― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

5. “That's what was great about him. He tried. Not many do.” 

― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

6. Every man dies,but not every man really lives

- William wallace, Braveheart

7.”Nobody is gonna hit as hard as life, but it ain’t how hard you can hit.
It’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. It’s how much you can
take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning’s done.”
-Syllvester Stallone ( Rocky)

8. Women can fake orgasm,why the hell they can't fake silence?

  - Arshad warsi, Chocolate

9.I guess it comes down to a simple choice really. Get busy living, or get busy dying

  -Andy Dufresne ,The Shawshank Redemption

10. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we      don't need

   -Tyler Durden , Fight club

Seven Bollywood Movies that would have probably worked if released today.

With the changing dynamics and audience of Indian film industry,here are some of the movies that would have got much more recognition if released today.

1.U,Me aur Hum

This movie produced by Eros international and Ajay Devgan productions was directorial debut of Ajay Devgan.Starring Ajay Devgan and his wife Kajol,the film portrayed the relationship of a psychatrist and an alzheimer's struck wife.Movie was high on emotional quotient and Kajol gave a killer performance.Let down by a sloppy slow screenplay,the movie was a winner in all other respects.The film was indian version of the romantic flicks like "The Vow" and "50 first dates".Only difference is that those films worked and such films are still potential blockbusters in hollywood.Second half of the movie is especially brilliant with strong portrayal of frustrations of their married life.And for all those chick flick enthusiasts,the climax is surely gonna get an "awwww" out of you.

movies ,flop,bollywood,love,indian movies,underrated movies,aks,gulaal,socha na tha

2.Haasil

This movie directed by ace director Tigmanshu dulia and starring Jimmy Shergill,Hrishita bhatt and charming Irrfaan was based on a mesh of small town love story,student politics and deception.Featuring a hit track "Aankhein bhi",the movie has attained a cult status among students.The movie is set in a small town college environment and boasts of impressive supporting cast,most prominently Ashutosh rana.

3.Aks

Directorial debut of "RANG DE BASANTI" fame director Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra,the movie starred Amitabh bachchan,Manoj Bajpai,Raveena Tandon and Nandita Das.Manoj Bajpai played a hardcore psychopath who haunts the cop (Bachchan) after he is shot dead.Noted for sharp direction and sensuality of Raveena tandon,film sure was ahead of its time.The film was a dark themed thriller which was percieved as weird by some critics and certain section of audiences.Apart from being different,the film featured amazing performances by the qualified starcast.The film even briefly touches the subject of marital rape.Raveena Tandon was seen in what can be called the most sensual role of her career.

4.Being Cyrus

Directorial debut of "COCKTAIL" director Homi Adajania,the movie featured wonderful performances by Saif Ali Khan,Naseeruddin shah,Dimple Kapadia and Boman Irani.The film was a thriller woven around a dysfunctional parsi family.Watch the movie for amazing performances of Naseeruddin as an eccentric sculptor who takes on the protagonist of the movie as his apperentice.The movie being in english language may not have worked in its favour.

5.Aankhein

This Vipul Shah movie was a heist movie starring Akshay Kumar,Amitabh Bachchan,Paresh Rawal and Arjun Rampal in pivotal roles.Just when we thought great things have started happening in bollywood,the film underperformed and sure deserved much wider acceptance and recognition.The film featured Amitabh Bachchan as an overobsessed Bank Manager who plans to rob a bank after he is expelled from the same bank.Only difference is that he hires three blind men to commit an impossible robbery.Amitabh Bachchan shines in his negative characher as an over-obsessed expelled bank manager.

6. Socha Na Tha

Today’s average movie-buff would go nuts on a movie featuring both Abhay Deol and Imtiyaz ali. Well, they’re kind of torch-bearers of Indian “new age “cinema right now. Socha Na Tha, which was debut of both Abhay Deol and Imtiyaz Ali went unnoticed due to lack of star-power or any other reason. The movie featured Abhay Deol and ever-cute Ayesha Takia as a young pair oozing freshness and chemistry. Of course, the film had confused Imtiyaz Ali touch to it. It garnered positive reviews but failed to make a mark on the box office. Ayeshia takia fans are recommended to see that movie as she symbolised innocence in her part and Abhay deol fans should watch this movie to explore his playboy conventional hero image. If you loved Jab We Met, you are bound to love this movie for the endearing lead couple and that Imtiyaz Ali touch we all love.

7. Gulaal

The list of under-rated movies would be incomplete without including any of the Anurag Kashyap’s movies. Gulaal, which boasted of wonderful cast and powerful script explored themes like quest for power, manipulation, illegetimcacy, secessionism , etc, etc. The movie starred debutante Raj Singh Choudhary and wonderful cast including Kay Kay Menon (Powerful portrayal of a democracy era nominal king), Piyush Mishra, Abhimanyu singh (In a very endearing bad boy role). Gulaal is set in a fictitious secessionist movement and a college politics setting and plot is provided by the way it affects and changes a timid rajput student . The film had other minor tracks in the story too to support the themes explored and said above. If u love cinema , then Gulaal should certainly make you proud of Indian Cinema. The film features some powerful scenes enacted by Kay Kay Menon although whole of the cast is sheer blessing for a cinema love

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How to set-up your BSNL broadband wi-fi using Landline.

This tutorial is going to teach you to set up your BSNL wi-fi broadband on your own.This is pretty simple and going to save you the installation charges and give you the satisfaction of fruit of labour.So here is how you go through with it.
 1. Firstly, you need to have a BSNL landline connection to avail the broadband facility.In case you already dont have it, get it.
 2. After you get the landline connection,you need to apply for the broadband connection with yout ISP ( Internet Service Provider). After your connection is through  you will get a username and a password.
3.Now you need to get a wi-fi modem which either you can purchase from market or can be provided by your ISP.Now most widely used Wi-fi modem is Dlink.In this tutorial we are gonna take the example of D-link DSL 230u.
4. Your modem comes with following entities in a package.

• A Modem cum router device which has four ethernet ports(Blue outline in the figure below) and a single DSL port(white outline).
• A splitter which has two ports on one side and a single port on the opposite site.
• A DSL phone cable
• An ethernet cable.

Fig 1: Modem cum router.

Fig 2: Splitter

Now DSL cable and ethernet cable look similiar to each other but remember ethernet cable has wider ends.

5. Now make physical connections as illustrated in the diagram below

Fig 3 : Making connections

6. After you have already made the connections.You need to configure the Modem for the first time.For that ,you can either use the CD that may or may not be included in the package or you can do it manually.For that you need to connect the router to your laptop PC so that effective network looks exactly like in the Fig 4 below.

Fig 4: Connections to configure the modem for the first time.

Needless to say,the modem needs to be plugged in for the power.Configuration is pretty easy and self explanatory.You need to type a given IP adress in your browser and go to the modem interface.You can enter the default values there in the set-up wizard and you are ready to go.

Of the reserved and the deserved!

With all this reservation frenzy around me ,a thought struck me if reservation is more of a luxury rather than a support. Its like we got numbers and free time to strike, let’s  be OBC, it’s in nowadays.  Lets don’t change for 60 years and then riot for being officially labelled as a handicapped community.. Being backwards out of choice and lack of will is the prerequisite for being reserved. Inform me if i am missing anything, but i don’t understand how being a poor Brahmin means more opportunities than a poor dalit. Building a nations workforce out of appeasing communities can have dangerous consequences .No wonder ,private sector is bringing all the investment in. Just pray that mayawati doesn’t  stage anshan  for reservation in Microsoft or oracle. DMK manifesto is promising reservation in private sector.It is more sensible to have a sectional lottery instead. Might fetch us some actually deserving candidates. Even after 60 years of continous reservation, the parties are taking pride in providing and expanding reservations while the other way round would be progress. But then again, a cheerleader team has a collective IQ and common sense more than our esteemed leaders.What could be more pathetic than this situation. Where the leaders are dalit ki beti rather than desh ki beti. Obviously when it comes to votes, common sense goes to dogs. A poor upper caste is more able than poor lower caste. This assumption automatically assigns more divinity to upper class voiding the whole idea of equality. Analogically, a Brahmin farmer from vidarbha who might have committed suicide doesn’t need aid as opposed to a SC IAS officers son. Gosh,the caste factor must have been tough on him.  Common sense would say protect the poor. But hey when has common sense ever prevailed in India. That’s even rare than an Olympic medal. Our leaders fail to understand that the current caste based model could be defective or misused if it hasn’t been able to ensure equality even after 60 years .But why would they introspect if further exploiting fetches them votes. They say “Give a man a fish, you would feed him for a day, teach him to fish , you feed him for life. What works in our country is teach a man to fish, give a free fishing rod ,reserve a sea patch for him, fetch him extra prices on his produce, get him a subsidised boat, get him subsidized petrol and do the same for his son again and again. Apparently, they are genetically handicapped. I beg to differ strongly, but that’s what a sane man could infer from the current situation. A common argument by reservation enthusiasts is that everyone has a right and the division should be proportionate to various classes. Correct me if i’am wrong, but didn’t exams use to work on merit and merit commanded eligibility. If the facilities are to proportionate, why care for merit, a lottery would work just fine. These people seem to have forgotten three words-merit, test, eligibility. Overzealous insecure enthusiasts might label me a casteist, but i am the least casteist  guy if you care to sit down and think with your head for a change .But then again, blackening faces and vandalism is more tempting than actually using our head. I would like to conclude by saying that what was once aimed to create equality is the one actually polarizing. Just think !!

Most interesting twitter accounts to follow

Twitter is the new hip nowadays. Although twitter always comes second to our average indian's "phacebook" and theres not really anything to do on twitter for us. So iam going to suggest you some really interesting twitter accounts that can help you really get something out of twitter other than that quest to be sophisticated.
1. Uberfacts  : This account is a collection of uber cool facts that are really interesting. Its like ripleys believe or not,only cooler and more interesting. Follow this account for daily dose of "Ohhhh,really??? I mean did u know that bees can actually identify individual faces.Keep that in mind if you manage to piss off one!
2.History in pictures : This account is a must for all history buffs. Timeline bears a collection of daily updated and historically relevant photographs. Even contains some rare photographs.
3. Parody Barney Stinson : This is the parody account of the "awesome" barney, a character on "How i met your mother". Barney fans really need to follow this for some "awesome" tweets.
4. Sheldon Jokes : Well this account is as boring as sheldon,bazinga!!! Its awesome.
5. The Batman : The knight in dark and saviour of gotham is on twitter. Read his views on oscars to supervillains and everything else.
6. Lord Voldermort : Well,the good old voldy we know was never funny,but this twitter is a whole new story altogether. Follow this account for incredibly sarcastic voldy tweets.
7. WW2 tweets from 1942 : This is incredibly great account and one of my personal favourites. A guy gets an idea to tweet all the events of world war 2 in real time (not real real time !!!)over the 6 year period much like in 1942. Well,spiderman isnt the only thing being rebooted!
8. Word of the Day : This is a very simple idea but nevertheless a good idea.Learn one word a day.
9. Pick up lines : This account is once again a parody of howard walowitz from The Bing Bang theory. Treat yourself to an awesome collection of cheesy pickup lines. These lines are so lame that they are good.Have a heart laugh reading those lines but be cautious trying them. You might loose a tooth or two.

On the road : How highway and highway affected me.

They say travel gives u perspective ,atleast i get it. Having watched the movie highway,i boarded the comfortable shivneri bus from Pune to Mumbai.I felt like a part of the movie after having fought my anxieties and demons the very same day,the movie opened the pores of my brain (abstract,ofcourse!).The director is one free soul,his movies are never bound by limits of conventionalism.Surreal yet so real. Weird yet so relatable.Isnt this what we all desire?Pure unadultered freedom uncorrupted by worldly limitations.His movies sure haunt my brain.Coming back to the travel,i was already riding high on the rush i got after the movie(it could be samosa-diet coke,but iam reasonably sure it was the movie).Funnily or interestingly,of all the Batman's and Spidermans ,one character that i could truly relate to is a girl.The bus was extremely comfortable and less than half filled.The AC complemented the outside rain and further added to the poetic rush.The bus reached outskirts of pune and developer machine studded suburbs started appearing.Huge cranes against the mountains of khandala gave a deserted look.One building stood among sugarcane fields.just one building representing how innocence of the earth is corrupted by corporate bug and competition.Much like our lives,ruining our pure selves for the sake of success which is hardly a success now that i think.Yes u earn money,but is it really what we desired?Further into the road,i saw a bullock cart and a apartment building side by side.Never had i seen such simplicity and monstrous technology existing in such close vicinity.How oblivious is that simplicity of technology.Such serene wilderness corrupted by endless advertisements of Rahuls and modis and upcoming flats.Interestingly one ad for LAMCON read www.Iamcon.com. The name itself read "Iam con".Further greeted by the wilderness around lonavla and khandala,i just wanted to soak in the calm and freshness and never let go.why do i need a destination or an agenda or a dream,why cant i just live through.we work hard to reach a dream and then harder to sustain it but when do we live it.This whole concept of life seems like one big contradiction to me.Whuy should i do something to keep up with world,why cant i just live and keep up with me.Much like the protagonist in the movie,i wanted no aspirations ,no destinations,just mindless travel with no reason.Why do i need a reason to please myself.I seemed to agree with some ad in which aamir khan says,kabhi kisi anjaan station pe utar ke dekho ( Feel alive,just unboard at some unknown station).I might have gone overboard but this travel sure led me to rethink my priorities. Doing things just because they need to be done is not my cup of tea,I do things i want to do.I might feel trapped but its never too late.Bikers on the world class highway among wilderness gave me a complex. What bliss it must be to bike on this road in this weather.Finally the suburbs started prevailing again and welcome to the big bad mumbai. This dream of a travel may have dawned,but this poetic rush is yet to subside. Some may compare it to a little kids sugar rush,but hey ,we used to love that. Life as we know it can wait for this one hell of joyride. As i unboard the bus,joy is perhaps the most misunderstood entity.Its trivial,its within us.

Facebook Diaries : Adventures of an average Indian Facebook user.

In current scenario, when facebook has become a parallel life for most of us, maintenance of virtual persona has become sort of a daily chore. In an age ,where everyone is “cool”(on fb) ,there’s a sudden surge in weird and bizarre face-book handles, not to mention that every other teenager is a rapper or  hip-hopper ( on their profile’s) and every other girl is an angel or a doll.The deal with Indian kids is that anything remotely cool must have something to do with a rap or hip hop. ‘Angel’ and ‘dear’ must be the among  the most abused words in India on facebook  as of today . An average kid may not be sure about his vowels and punctuations, but he sure believes that adding  “f**K” in every sentence makes it cool (or kewl as some may say ). LOL is used more frequently than MOM nowadays (not that mothers are happy about it ). Well there are tons of people making a fool out of themselves on social platforms (whow, we thought only Miley Cyrus did that!). Youngsters don’t want to leave any stone unturned on the platform where every girl who accepts their request is a potential girlfriend (that’s what they like to think!). Desperation for popularity paves way for some hilarious screw-ups. Facebook is like a virtual party where you throw cheesy pick-up lines, get humiliated (in inbox,if lucky), get lucky ,get burned and sometimes end up making a complete fool out of ourselves(Admit it!).Well for the sake of sophistication,we all have a twitter account, but twitter mein woh baat kahan.Facebook status is the new broadcast now leaving jobless the gossip chachi's and maasis.

Presenting you the most ridiculous facebook handles i have come across during my face-book chronicles.

Khooni  Raghav

Drug  Addict Manoj (seriously???)

Smartboy Sharma ( He actually refers to himself as “smartboy” in his posts. )

Maya Dollas ( and he upgraded it to Maya Dollas II, poor guy!)

Nanhi Pari (Trust me,she’s not nanhi by any means or any scale for that matter)

Rapper abc xyz (well,thats your average guy who thinks uttering fast means hip-hop)

Kalyugi Baba (Ghor Kalyug!!! For sure )

Well,coming to demographics ,sociology could incorporate one more case study “Friendlist”. What i have observed is some components are universal for every friendlist. Well, my theory is well suited only for Indian profiles.

Puts every new song for a status ( Here you go “Aaaah,that one!!)

That one girl with a tv serial actress for DP.( or few for that matter)

That one  girl who’s the admin of sad shayari page.

That one guy who intimidates you with every post and photo.

That one guy/girl who tags you in his pics and mundane good morning wallpapers ( Got to agree,those piss me off the most!)

That one girl you message every time and end up labelling her “attitude wali” every one of those times.

That one back-up chat- girl who you could go back to anytime in case you don’t crack any new nut.

The one girl who has “hmmmm disease “.

That one girl who uses her nephew/niece for her profile pictures and a bunch of lurking guys ready with “cute angel” comments .

That one gym fanatic ready with his biceps and workout photos.

That one guy who  writes everything in decorative font.

That one girl whose posts make you seem like Hollywood is just about “Edward and Bella”.

That one cutie pie whose rare pics keep you waiting and sure land up in your laptop/mobile.

That one girl with more than 5000 friends who never replies to you ( Guys will agree to this.)

That one school-mate who’s sexy all of a sudden.

It’s amazing to see how facebook has become such social phenomenon and a high maintenance errand. This fever doesn’t seem to die down in near future. Here are a few mistakes or screw ups that we all have probably done or come across at one point of time or another.

Getting played by a friend with an alias profile.( Embarassing )

That one ugly fight in the comments

Seven cool reasons to join NIT srinagar : Informal tour of NIT Srinagar Campus

You perhaps know all about the academic and infrastructure ranking of NIT Srinagar. What i am going to tell you is connected to what you will actually do and experience during those precious four years. Lets say this is the most honest college brochure around.Most of these apply to all NIT's.Be it NIT Jalandhar,NIT Delhi or NIT Trichy or pretty much all engineering colleges in India.

1. Good Sleep

If you are a dreamer and a lazy head who likes to sleep much like myself, NIT Srinagar is best suited to you. Well the climate is suited to your sleeping needs. Unless you’ve opted for electrical and civil, nothing can hamper your sleep much. Contrary to the perception, ECE people get to sleep the most. Any NIT Srinagar passout will agree that good sleep should be included in the brochure of NIT Srinagar(Just Kidding!!!! )

2.Manna’s Paranthas and Bread rolls

Foodies will surely love manna bhaiya’s parantha’s and much sought after bread rolls which sell out by 12 after-noon. For a Guy who spent more time at canteen than in the classrooms, i sure miss the Aloo parantha’s, bread rolls and that chai . Manna is a safe haven for the foodies frustrated and let down by the mess food. Fresher’s are usually attracted to the “fancy” gasha canteen but much of the traffic switches to manna bhai around their 3^rd Semester.

3. Chastity for boys

If you are a no girl,all study kind of a guy,then you should surely join the NIT Srinagar. If you are in to “Brahmachari” stuff, this college is bound to help you retain your chastity belt unless you are into gorgeous teachers (female,ofcourse!!!!). The sexual frustration on the campus could even set a gieger counter if there were one. Hostels are flooded by one-sided facebook majnu’s, stalkers and prank callers who love to call girls just for the fun of it.

4. Cheap bribing options

If you like to get your work done without a hassle ,you have an option of bribing with “chana’s” (Calcium wala,one that munnabhai eats!!) and after running like a horse for getting your work done,those chana’s may come handy to you.

5.Attention

If you are a girl and you need some boost to your self esteem, i would recommend NIT Srinagar. NIT Srinagar is the one college in the world which caters to the attention needs of girls without any discrimination. Every girl gets her due in terms of flirting, proposes, stalking and friend-zoning. No matter what “type” you belong to, our college aspires to make every girl feel special about herself. We even provide pseudo-protective and over-zealous brothers if you are in to it

6.Invisible things

If you have a knack for invisible things, we sure have a plenty of them like an invisible auditorium with just a visible foundation stone.How cool is that ! Other invisible goodies include invisible beds for freshers , a fountain with invisible water and last but not the least a toilet with invisible latch. For a brief time during our stay, we even have western styled commodes with invisible flush.

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7. Well-built satta empire

If you are one of those betting freaks who will just bet on anything, NIT Srinagar is a proud producer of some compulsive sattebaaz’s some of whom have the unique distinction of betting on the time around which their grandparents would die. The NIT Srinagar betting industry turnover sure exceeds the grants paid to our college. If it were to be taxed, one batch could surely be fed free of cost. IPL is the time when business runs in to its maxima and recharge wale chachu’s also reap the benefits since most of the business is carried on mobiles. Some freeloaders like me get treats too when someone close to us wins big.

The Real Deal

Jokes apart, NIT srinagar holds very special place in our heart and here's some actual introduction to our college sans all the sarcasm. The above article is just for humor purposes and is not meant to offend anybody. If you are offended by any chance, kindly google "sense of humour".This article is not supposed to be offensive to girls as we are all for our eye-candies.

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